i’m sick of depending on friends for support

i run to the city to take me somewhere

anywhere 

it needs to take me

 

i go downtown

to a bar

with myself

the friend i only share with brick and cement

 

i didn’t wanna drink tonight

but i did anyways

i’m only young once

i tell myself

as i order  

another rum and coke

with extra cherries

the bartender already knows

 

once i leave 

i feel a bit better

for a second

/* until the liquor combines

   and collects

   in my chest

   and up 

   into my eyes

   where they escape

   spilling onto cement */

 

i’m hoping someone follows the stains i left on the sidewalk.  

they’d find me passed out between the alley of two buildings, 

but no one walks these streets on a wednesday past 10, 

so i crawl into a ball on a city bench and order an uber, 

hoping i don’t have to explain myself to the driver on the way home.